I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
