Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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