At least make sure they are 18
Why
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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