so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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