Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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