He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
