This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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