ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
