that's an acceptable place to lick
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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