I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
