I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
