why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
