I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
