I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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