I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
