Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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