With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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