Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
