im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
