Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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