I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
