batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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