Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
