Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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