i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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