He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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