you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You were trust falling into bushes
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
