This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
