Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
