He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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