it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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