dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize