The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
