I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
