just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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