so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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