honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
