I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
