And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
