i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
