You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
