New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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