Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
