It's Friday. Sex?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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