if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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