he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
