So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
