The maid of honor just puked.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
if only i could text you this smell
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
