How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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