so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
