The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
