i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
