I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
two words...techno handjob
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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