If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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