4 words: hood of his car
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
