he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
