This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
