he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
