If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
