is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize