we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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