worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
