I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
