my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize