I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
