due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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