Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
