Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
