Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
