Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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