I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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