so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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