I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
