bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
