is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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