How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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