He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
