do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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