Grow some girl-balls and come out already
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
