I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
