your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
