My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I need to stop coming to work sober
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
