i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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