im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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