Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
